The Christmas that should have been
by msashlyjudd8
Summary: This is how the season 4 Christmas episode should have happened for Kurt and Blaine. Klaine fic


Author's Note: I don't own Glee or any of the characters. This story contains slash. If that isn't your cup of tea, then kindly click on the red X. This is my first Glee fic so be nice and let me know what you think.

* * *

"I was thinking of applying to NYADA." Blaine's eyes found Kurt behind his fathers back. "Would that be okay?"

Burt was leaning forward on the couch, and had to suppress a smile when Kurt replied..

"I think that would be great."

Burt felt like a third wheel. The tension between the two boys was palpable. Clearly they had issues to work out and neither was brave enough to broach the subject. Burt knew they had broken up, but he didn't know the details. It must have been something pretty bad for his son to break up with Blaine. Burt had never seen two people more in love, and he just couldn't understand how they had ended up so far apart from each other.

Burt had never seen Kurt more alive and animated, until he met Blaine. Blaine accepted all of Kurt's crazy diva moments with a smile and loved him anyway. Blaine was Kurt's direct counterpart. While Kurt was very dramatic with his whole life, Blaine was quiet and unassuming. Blaine could express all his love and adoration with just one look from his dark brown eyes. His eyes truly were the windows to his soul, and his eyes rarely left Kurt.

They belonged together, and if they were too stubborn to realize it then Burt was going to help them along. Burt was just starting to form a plan in his head, when Blaine suddenly stood.

"Um...Please excuse me. I need to call my parents and wish them a Marry Christmas, and wash up for dinner."

Kurt's eyes fallowed Blaine until he couldn't see him anymore. As the bathroom door closed, Kurt's eyes slipped closed. He sucked in a deep breath and slowly let it out. His rigid body finally relaxed and when his eyes opened again, he found his father watching him with a smile.

"Dude," Burt laughed. "Your just as pathetic as Blaine," Burt continued to laugh.

"Excuse me?" Kurt deadpanned.

"It doesn't take a genius to notice how much that boy loves you. And you can sit here and pretend all you want that you don't care, but we both know that's not true."

Kurt stood and gathered the popcorn bowl and glasses from the coffee table, clearly trying to check out of the conversation.

"Dinner is almost ready dad. What do you want to drink? Milk? Tea? Coffee?"

Kurt was good at deflection, but Burt wasn't going to allow it this time. As Kurt busied himself in the kitchen, Burt stood and put his jacket on. He figured if he removed himself from the situation for a while, the boys wouldn't have much of a choice, but to talk to each other.

"Mr. Hummel?" Blaine said as he re entered the room. "Are you leaving? I thought we were having dinner."

Kurt turned from the stove, a hot pan held between his gloved hands, confusion written all over his face.

"Uh...yeah. I'm kind of full from all the popcorn. I thought I would go take a walk. I hear they have a ten foot tree in Central Park every year. I thought I might go take a look."

It was the most plausible excuse he could come up with.

"Don't be ridiculous, dad." Kurt replied. "It's Christmas. We are having dinner, and if you still want to see the tree afterward, we can go together." Kurt rolled his eyes and turned back to the stove.

Burt turned to look at Blaine, who stood in the center of the loft apartment looking very uncomfortable and a little confused. Burt looked directly into his eyes and then shifted his eyes to where Kurt stood, and then back to Blaine. His brown eyes grew larger and his mouth opened slightly as he caught on to what Burt was trying to convey.

"I'll be back in an hour," Burt said to Blaine, and before Kurt could protest, he turned and slid the door open and closed behind him as he left the apartment. Both boys were left gaping at the closed apartment door.

Kurt and Blaine thought their reunion at McKinley was awkward, but that moment had nothing on this one.

Kurt's eyes slipped closed as his body whirled around to grasp the edge of the sink. His heart pounded and he felt light headed. He didn't want to be here. He wasn't ready yet. Not yet. He wasn't ready to be alone with Blaine. It would be the first time since...That night. The night his heart shattered. The night that Blaine, looked at him with his beautiful watery eyes and destroyed his world.

Kurt felt like he was either going to throw up or burst into tears. Neither option was particularly appealing, so he stood very still, gripping the edge of the sink. Maybe if he stood still long enough, he would wake up an this would all be a dream.

When Blaine landed in New York City, the previous day, his heart was full of hope and excitement. It was Christmas and he was finally going to see Kurt again.

Less then a day later he found himself standing stock still in the middle of Kurt's apartment. The tension was almost flammable.

Things had not gone the way Blaine thought they would. Sure, Kurt was happy to see him at the ice rink, but his smile never quite reached his eyes. They sang together, but Blaine could tell that Kurt wasn't really into it. Kurt was nice and polite, but he wouldn't maintain eye contact. Burt had been his saving grace. Until now.

Blaine had a choice. He could leave right now and catch a plane back to Ohio, Or he could man up and start talking. He knew anything said tonight wasn't going to fix everything, but it was a start. If he ever wanted to get Kurt back, he had to start somewhere. Kurt still stood rigidly at the sink. It looked like he wasn't even breathing. Blaine stepped back into the living room and took a seat in the chair facing away from the kitchen. He decided not to try and engage Kurt in a conversation. Blaine pulled up all the memories of their relationship. A year and a half of memories. Good and bad. And then he started talking. He didn't know if Kurt would listen, but he had to try.

"You know, before I met you, I thought I had it all. I was captain of the prestigious Warblers. Each one of those guys looked up to me, and I led them the best I knew how. They were my best friends, and they respected me, because I respected them. My grades were nearly perfect. The only blemish on my record was from my home economics class. Who knew turning the oven up to 500 would burn the cookies? I just thought they would get done faster."

Blaine didn't know it, but Kurt had opened his eyes and was listening intently, even though his body didn't show any sign of movement.

"Then one day, _you_ walked into my life. You walked in and turned my whole life upside down. You said you were there to spy on us, but I could see in your eyes that you were just looking for acceptance. You were looking for a place that was safe. A place where you could belong and not feel fear every day. It was very strange. I had been bullied at my old school too, but it was nothing compared to what I saw in your eyes. I could see the fear. I could almost feel it..."

Blaine stopped as his anger grew. His eyes slipped closed, his hands balled into fists as he remembered the fear in Kurt's beautiful green eyes.

Kurt, who still stood at the sink, silently turned his body around. Blaine sat facing away from him.

"I never really thought about it before now, but I think that must have been the moment I lost my heart. Because before then, my whole life revolved around The Warblers and school. But in that moment, I wanted to take you away from all the pain and protect you. We became friends then and I tried to give you courage to stand up to your bullies. But the truth is, I worried every single day about you. I couldn't concentrate in my classes because I wondered if someone was bothering you."

Kurt's eyes started to burn, and he quickly blinked away the tears. He knew Blaine cared about him back then...He just didn't know how much.

"The guys noticed a change in me right off the bat. I was late a few times for practice and the songs I chose were kind of sad. Music has always been an outlet for me and singing was the only way I could deal with my feelings. I kept telling myself I was just worried about you. I even forced myself to go out on dates." Blaine decided to omit the infamous Gap Attack. How stupid was that?

Blaine couldn't stop the chuckle that bubbled up as the next memory surfaced.

"Oh man, Do you remember the morning, I woke up in your bed, after Rachel's party?" Blaine didn't expect an answer and kept on with the memory. "Your dad was so pissed when I came downstairs to leave." Blaine closed his eyes again and couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. "You were your usual chatty self as you made us coffee, but your dad kept glaring at me behind your back. If I hadn't been hung over I would have laughed."

Kurt smiled. He knew his dad was mad that morning. He just figured if he went on as if nothing happened, his dad would forget about it. He could just imagine a hungover Blaine, trying not to look at his dad. Before he could stop it a small laughed escaped his mouth. Kurt froze as Blaine shot up out of the chair and turned to face him. Blaine was still smiling as Kurt dropped his eyes.

"You think that's funny?" Blaine asked, as he stepped around the chair and took two steps toward the kitchen. "I'll have you know, that after you went upstairs to get dressed, Your dad gave me a ten minute lecture about sleeping in your bed. He said, And I quote: "My son is not that kind of boy."

Kurt couldn't stop from laughing that time. It felt good, and Blaine looked so beautiful when he smiled.

The silence that fallowed was very awkward. Both boys stood facing each other, Their eyes looking at each other as if it were the first time. The bond that always kept them together in high school was trying to bring them close again. The spark that had always been there was trying to ignite again. Kurt wanted to cry as he looked into Blaine's wide glossy eyes. Had they always been that beautiful? They were saying 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry'.

"Do you want to know the exact moment I fell in love with you?" Blaine whispered.

And just like that, the spell was broken.

Kurt broke eye contact, as his eyes fell to the floor.

"You probably think it was when you sang Black Bird..." Blaine took two more steps closer to Kurt.

"When you sang Black Bird, I realized that you were special. You truly did move me and I realized that I was being and idiot. I knew that I had to be with you, but it wasn't love. Not yet."

Kurt's eyes filled with tears as he raised them to look at Blaine. Blaine took another step closer.

"I fell in love with you the second time I saw you cry," Blaine whispered. "Do you remember?"

When Kurt didn't reply, Blaine continued.

"You had just been voted Prom Queen and you ran out of the Gym. I chased after you and when you stopped, you began to cry. I had never seen anyone so broken."

A tear slipped from the corner of Kurt's eye as Blaine took another step. Only a foot separated them now.

"In that moment, I knew that I would do anything in my power to never see that look on your face again. I wanted to wrap you up and take you some place safe. Some place where you were never sad again..."

Blaine stopped talking then. His eyes lowered in shame, because he was the reason that Kurt was sad now. Kurt watched the younger boy trying to hold himself together. His shoulders sagged and his head lowered as he brought both of his hands up to glide through his hair. Blaine looked broken, but he was still the most beautiful boy Kurt had ever seen.

"Kurt, you have no idea how much I hate myself. It kills me every single day to know that I was the reason you looked like that again. I was the person who was suppose to love you and protect you."

Blaine closed his eyes, as his memories took him back to that night. Kurt and Blaine walked side by side through the park. The pavement shimmered with moisture from the passing rain storm. For the first time, the silence between the two boys was uncomfortable. Blaine had a heavy conscience, because he knew he was going to break Kurt's heart. Kurt's mind whirled with endless scenarios. Blaine had been acting strange since he showed up at Kurt's apartment. His tearful rendition of Teenage Dream, at CallBacks, just about broke his heart. Something was wrong.

When that night was over, both boys were broken.

"I didn't sleep with him."

Kurt was startled by the sudden announcement. Both boys had been lost in past memories, and it shocked Kurt when Blaine suddenly blurted out his confession.

Both boys stood very still, their eyes gazing at each other, both hearts thundering.

"I'm sorry," Blaine whispered. "I...I just needed you to know, that I would never share my body with anyone else."

A tear slid from the corner of Kurt's eye, his bottom trembled.

"It was just one kiss, Kurt. One kiss, and the biggest mistake of my life."

Blaine's eyes burned as they filled with tears. The devastation on Kurt's face was too much to take. It seemed like no matter what he did, Kurt was always getting hurt.

"Kurt, I know you can't forgive mmghh..."

Without conscious thought of even doing so, Kurt found himself wrapped around Blaine. His arms around his neck. His lips sealed against familiar, yet shocked lips. Blaine stumbled back two steps before he could right himself, and wrap his arms around the body suddenly in his arms.

The kiss was frantic and needy, and delicious. Desperate whimpers sounded throughout the loft as the boys tasted each other again. The spark had turned into a burning inferno of passion. It didn't take long before hands started exploring and clothes started flying.

It didn't matter that Burt, could be back at any moment. Both boys were lost in their need. Two naked chest's collided as Kurt pulled Blaine down to the floor, the bed was just too far away.

This meeting was miles apart from the their first time. There was no romance, no loving touches, or slow sweet kisses. This was clawing hands and biting desperate kisses. Frantic, gasping breaths could be heard as shoes and pants were shed.

When Blaine entered Kurt, this time, it wasn't slow or careful. No loving reassurances given from Kurt. In one hard thrust they were finally reunited in every way that mattered. It was pain and pleasure and need and most of all, it was love.

Blaine sobbed against Kurt's neck, where his face was buried. As Kurt's nails made painful scratches down Blaine's back, they both felt free. Kurt felt as though he had finally found the piece of himself that had been missing for so long. Blaine finally felt the heavy weight of torment and shame, lifted from his entire being. Each moan and gasp and cry, slowly healed what had been broken.

Blaine had to grit his teeth together as Kurt's legs came up to wrap around his waist. He pulled Blaine tight against his body with his legs, burying him as deep as he could go inside himself, and then he held him there. Kurt's body trembled and shook and he cried out as he fell apart. Blaine grunted against sweaty skin as Kurt's body suddenly tightened around Blaine's most sensitive organ. As Kurt's muscles contracted and tightened through his orgasm, Blaine sank his teeth into Kurt's neck as his own orgasm took over. Blaine cried out against Kurt's neck as his body shook with every spasm. He latched his lips against Kurt's sweaty salty skin where he had just bitten down.

It felt like hours, that Kurt and Blaine lay tangled together. Neither one had moved from the cold wood floor. Kurt's legs were still wrapped around Blaine, as he was still buried inside Kurt's warm body. Kurt's arms remained wrapped around the smaller boy's shoulders. They were lost, and finally found, inside their beautiful bubble. Neither one was willing to break the connection.

"I love you," Kurt, whispered brokenly.

Blaine's face crumbled. His arms tightened around Kurt's body.

"I love you, too."


End file.
